Lucy Porter: The Witham, Barnard Castle

Lucy Porter: The Witham, Barnard Castle

LUCY Porter is an endearing, pint-sized comedienne in need of a decent hairdresser. She spent the whole show flipping her fingers through her hair, wasting precious energy that could have been put to better use getting on with the comedy. By the time she’d finished messing it up, she did look like a crazy woman; although that’s not totally surprising as she freely admits to coming from Croydon.

The first half was spent bribing the audience with sweets, providing a large glass of port to a random guy called Richard and chatting up a 16-year-old audience member called James. She told us about moving to Pinner and her new neighbours Ken and Pat; her children Emily and John and her 6ft5in actor-husband, who has recently been on Eastenders don’t you know?

To be honest I was more amused at Jill and Pauline who’d come all the way from Newton Aycliffe and were sharing a cigarette outside, despite the fact that Pauline said she didn’t smoke. They were last seen going to the loo together discussing pelvic floors and quiche.

The second half was way better – Porter was off from a standing start talking faster than an auctioneer on speed, I really enjoyed her letter from her 16-year-old self. And only a woman can start telling you a story about being banned from a sheep shearing demonstration to suggesting the cranky Donald Trump might be hungry and may just need a rice cake. Funny lady – ba’ad hair…

Helen Brown



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